Back!

Three months back I had written something on this blog and then on I have not scribbled much over here. I don't know what is the exact reason or there are many of them. But somehow writing something is fun! I really enjoy the feeling of some kind of accomplishment after finishing an article each time. Anyway these are not the articles that are going to be printed neither in "The Times of India" nor in "The New York Times". Well! I don't even want it to be printed there, why in the hell there, for that matter why in the hell here.

Somehow I don't know why these kinds of thoughts are popping off from my mind. Who is going to read all these, what is the use after reading all these, who is going to care me anyway, who is going to look at me, what is the use of this life, why should we live! oh ooh! hold on! where is this going. I don't want to end up either into some philosophy or psychology. I don't know why generally people don't like to enter into these fields, but inherently everybody deal or stay on these fields.

I have read few of the blogs where people write so openly and frankly on what is happening in their life and then some are like that opinions of the happenings or way of life. I don't know in what way I write. After all how much have I written till now. But so many topics came in and out of my mind. There are so many things after all. Actually there are a zillion things and everything is important. Kya bakh raha hoon....

Ah! I got the reason on why I am saying all this. Actually I am lost. I don't know what to do. I never thought I would get lost in this way. I need to find myself back. I keep saying myself, I am back, am I, really? Okay! I was finding the meaning out of everything. Meanings for the questions. Who is going to care me anyway. What difference will my life make to this world.

Well! I want to end this blog with some positive note. It is just for me to feel better from the feeling of hopelessness. So this is a short story in two lines. A woman was walking on the sands of beach barefoot on a sunny day in the evening across the shore. I love the beaches. They are so good. The whole atmosphere at the beach is so enchanting. That cool breeze on the face, the roar of the waves, the crimson blue sky after sunset, happy faces playing in the salty water, the feeling of cool sand to the feet, the touch of the water when it flows in, then the trickling feeling or submerging feeling when the water flows back to sea, aah! everything is so awesome. I wish Kansas had a beach here. Actually sometimes I feel like going out from the room to somewhere and then I stop myself with this question where should I go... If there was a beach here, then I would have gone there and sat alone. By the way coming back to my story of two lines, there was a strong wind the previous day, so due to the strong waves a lot of star fish were thrown to the sea shore. So this woman was picking up each of these star fishes and was throwing them back to the sea. After all fishes live in water you see. If you had seen around there were thousands or millions of star fishes on the shore. At the other end a man was observing on what this woman was doing. He was surprised a bit and out of curiosity he came to that woman and asked. What are you doing? The woman replied I am just giving lift to these star fishes back to their home. The man asks, there are so many of them millions of them what difference will you make anyway.

The woman picks up a star fish from the sea shore, holds it and shows that to the man and throws it back to the sea and says "I made a difference to this star fish"....